Apple Butter

Crisp apples cooked with sugar and spice and everything nice!

Chemical X is a combination of cardamom and ginger =)


Three of the 4.8 lbs of apples that went into this batch of apple butter. Most were red delicious. Some were fuji, others granny smith, others golden.


Chunks of apples in my slow-cooker. I remove the core and stem, but not the skin.


Some containers of apple butter. The top container is what I saved from the first batch of oops-butter. The sprinkler-lid came off my cinnamon as I was shaking some in, which resulted in a very dark, very spiced apple butter. I like it, but those with whom I plan to share the apple butter might find it a bit too spicy. Slow-cooker came back out, more apples went in, and tada! The bottom three containers of a closer-to-normal spice/apple ratio.


The finished product, currently on its way to Canada, Jacksonville, and New Orleans. As you can see in the recipe below, it has preservatives (vinegar and citrus juice) -- it should make it =)

Evil Bitch-Monster of Death's Apple Butter in Slow-Cooker / Blender

Spice mix is estimated and given in ranges. If you don't like a particular spice, leave it out (if you don't like cinnamon, you don't like apple butter -- make apple sauce instead). If you like sweeter apple butter or your apples are really flavorless, add more sugar after the first cooking. If you'll be using a Vitamix or other super-blender, the apples do not need to be cored (but do slice them and take off the stems). If you don't have cider vinegar, leave the vinegar out. Limes can be used in place of lemons (or left out). Fresh and dried ginger have very different flavors, so keep this in mind if you have a preference. Apple skins stay on and get chopped up by the blender.

per 2 lbs sliced, cored apples, use:

3/4 - 1 c. sugar (half or more should be brown or raw sugar, if you have it)
1/2 - 1 tblsp cinnamon, ground (about a rounded 1/2 tblsp)
1/4 - 1/2 tsp cloves, ground
1/4 - 1/2 tsp allspice, ground
1/2 - 1 tblsp grated ginger, fresh (or 1/4 - 1/2 tsp dried)
1/2 tblsp vanilla extract
1/2 - 1 tsp cardamom, ground

1/4 c. apple cider vinegar (optional)
1/2 lemon, sliced or juiced (optional)

Start putting apple pieces into the slow-cooker. After a decent layer of apples, sprinkle/pour spices and other ingredients. If using 4+ lbs of apples, make two or more layers for spice sprinkling. For lemons/limes, if you don't mind digging out skins after cooking, slice/quarter and shove in different places around apples. Otherwise, pour juice over apple layers. Apples may mound over the top, but should stay under the lid. This mound will cook down, and more apples can be added during cooking.

With lid on, cook on high for about an hour (or longer if you need to fit more apples), then turn to low and cook 8 or so hours. Squish and stir the mixture. If apples still seem too firm, cook on low another couple hours.

With lid off, cook on high for 1-2 hours to reduce liquids and make your kitchen smell awesome. Turn slow-cooker off and let sit until apple mixture is cool enough to dig out the lemon/lime skins (sometimes a couple hours).

With a ladle, transfer apple mixture (minus lemon/lime skins) to a blender. This may need to be done in parts -- blend as much as will fit, set aside in another container, blend more. Taste-test the apple butter. If it needs more sugar, stir some in. Once all is blended, return to slow-cooker, stir well, and cook another 4 hours on low with lid on (optional). If you added more sugar during blending, do not skip second cooking.

Cool, store, eat, enjoy!
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Eggs and Fertility and Zombies, oh my!

Happy Zombie Jesus Day!

And Eostre, the Vernal Equinox, though it actually fell on my birthdate this year and those new-fangled carpenter-followers are doing it all late.


I made a batch of regular marshmallows for today that looked rather plain. I painted some dye designs on the top while they dry.


First use of my new electric mixer!


Sugar syrup cooking and gelatin blooming.


Starting to beat the syrup and gelatin together. I took this picture while the beater was whirring around -- go camera!


Halfway through the ten minutes of beating, again during the spin cycle.


Added vanilla extract after 10 minutes of beating, about to mix it all up.


All mixed!


All poured!

I'll update this post once I cut and color them.

Evil Bitch-Monster of Death's note: I find the marshmallows too sweet with 2/3 c. corn syrup. In the recipes in which I replaced most of it it with something else (chocolate, maraschino cherry liquid), the sweetness came out great. For plain batches, I suggest using only 1/3 - 1/2 c. corn syrup.

Eat chocolate (and eggs, they go so well together) and be merry!

Recipe reminder: www.cookingforengineers.com.

Update: I decided not to dip the edges in colors as that would have added drying time.


Cutting the marshmallow sheet.


Tapping the edge of Zombie Jesus Eye in corn starch. Photographic evidence of my inability to follow the instructions on the corn starch jar: "no mess."


Sharing tray prepared for work.
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Crochet Coasters

Still in green-mode -- some coasters.


Another shot of the same coaster, no real reason I took two.


Metallic-laced gold with white.

The pattern for these can be found at Patty's Crochet here.
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St. Paddy's Day Treats

Green food! These radioactive-looking treats are lemon-cheesecake bars.

At least, they were supposed to be. I poured the lemon filling in too quickly and it did not float on top of the (also green) cheesecake layer, but instead stirred it up in chunks. Still tasty, and green.


Green colored, cinnamon-clove flavored marshmallows -- hand-beaten. My electric mixer broke right as I started to beat the sugar syrup.


This is my surprisingly useful hand-mixer -- thanks Mom! =) However, it is tedious and uncomfortable to beat marshmallow syrup by hand and I will not be doing it again.


Another example of why flash is not always your friend. Benign hand-mixer becomes Medieval torture device casting ominous shadows when flash is applied.

Drink up, festive folk!
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St. Paddy's Day Crochet

Paddy not Patty
Some green and white colored, Irish-themed crochet projects for St. Patrick's Day.



This one's a leaf motif pot mat I found here. It came out nicer than I expected in the variegated green and white thread. Also a good example of why flash isn't always your friend.


Three-leaf clover button hangers from a shamrock pin pattern. I made a loop out of the loose ends so they can be easily slipped over buttons (I was too lazy to get out my glue gun and find pins). The patterns are for yarn, but I used doubled-up crochet thread to make button-sized clovers.


More clovers, in four-leaf and three-leaf varieties. Making these out of variegated crochet thread is nice but a touch difficult. The thread needs to be doubled in the middle of the right color to get it to line up all the way through. The mini one in the upper right of the pic below, and the four-leaf ones in this pic, are from a pattern similar to the three-leaf, which you can find here.


Some more clover varieties. The bottom left is from this pattern, also for yarn. I did not double the thread, but I should have.



I made these using a pattern I found last year. I have been unable to locate a working website for the pattern, therefore I'm pasting it below.

Shamrock Pin or Fridgie 2 1/2" X 3"
Design 2002 by Catherine Lindsay

You'll Need:
Green bedspread-weight cotton thread,2 strands held together
Size "O" steel hook
Small safety pin or magnet strip
To Make:
Leaving a 6"-long tail,ch 4,join with slip st to 1st chain to form loop.
Rnd 1:Ch 1,sc in loop,(ch 3,sc in loop)3 times.Join with slip st to 1st sc(4 ch-3 loops).
Rnd 2:Ch 1,(in next ch-3 loop work[sc,hdc,dc,trc,dc,hdc,sc])rep around.Join with slip st to 1st sc(4 leaf motifs).
Rnd 3:Ch 1,(sc in next sc,hdc in next hdc,2 dc in next dc,3 dc in next trc,2 dc in next dc,hdc in next hdc,sc in next sc)rep around.Do not finish off.

Stem:
Ch 8,sc in 2nd ch from hook and in next 6 chs.Slip st in next sc.Finish off.

Finishing:
Using 6" tail,sew small safety pin to back of shamrock,or glue on a magnet for a fridgie.

Evil Bitch-Monster of Death notes: for my tight stitches, this pattern takes about 32 feet of thread, doubled over to 16 feet. For looser stitches, probably a few feet more.

Next year, I'll look for hunter green and kelly green crochet thread. Read More......

Angel Crochet

An angel I made for my co-worker's birthdate present.



Wings, halo, and body.


I used size 10 white crochet thread, a steel 7 hook, white glue, a funnel, and shellac spray to give it some water-proofing after the starching.

The pattern is here: Lora's Angel.
Evil Bitch-Monster of Death's Wings, Row 7 correction: Ch 3, turn, dc in same st as turning, (ch 1, dc in next dc) 10 times. Ch 1, 2 dc in last dc. (11 ch-1 loops)


Shellac gives the finished product a bit of an ecru tint that doesn't show very much in the first picture.


I may test a better "clear" sealant from an art store on the next couple of angels. Oh, yes, couple. After presenting the angel to my co-worker, I received requests from my other coworker and boss for angels like this one. They intend to use the angels as tree-toppers, which gives me until December. Plenty of time to play with LEDs.
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Horny Werewolf Day!

Happy Horny Werewolf Day!

In the spirit of blood, wolves, and fucking, I crocheted lots of hearts. Maybe next year I'll make a werewolf, perhaps with a heart that has "I Wuf Awoooo" on it, and a fire for it to dance around. For those of you interested in ancient pagan things, search the internet or books for Lupercalia and enjoy.

The 'smile' is a heart bookmark from Suzie's Stuff. I used size 10 crochet thread, size 7 steel hook, and extended the chain a bit so it will fit large hardcover books.


These are made from a modified version of two patterns I found online: Heart Garland and Heart Ornament. I had fun with white and red crochet thread, size 10, and I think a size 7 steel hook.


In the red garland, I combined big hearts and little hearts from the ornament/garland pages. It is long enough to be a nice necklace. The ends are similar to the individual hearts -- a loop and a bulb.


White garland, made in 2 pieces to attach to red garland or attach to itself to make a white garland.


I found this heart pattern on Creative Yarn Source. I plan to starch the heart later this week. While following the pattern, I noticed a minor inconsistency. The fix is below.

Evil Bitch-Monster of Death's Row 12 correction: Sl st in 2nd dc, sl st in ch 3 space, Ch 3, (dc, ch 3, 2 dc) in same ch 3 space. Ch 4, skip ch 4, (dc, ch 1, dc) in ch 1 space Ch 2, skip ch 2 and sc, sc in next ch 2 space, ch 2, sc in next ch 2 space. Ch 2, skip next ch 2, (dc, ch 1, dc) in next ch 1 space, ch 3. Skip next dc, ch 1, and next 2 dc. (2 dc, ch 3, 2 dc) in next ch 2 space. Turn.


I also made a key chain out of a book mark design from Donna's Crochet Designs. It will get sewn/crocheted onto a key ring soon.

All this red love in the air. If I could post an mp3 with this, it would be Type O-Negative - Wolfmoon (Including Zoanthropic Paranoia).
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