Strawberry Crepes

Crepes with Nutella and strawberry sauce.


First, mix up the crepe batter. It needs to sit out for about twenty minutes to become room temperature. While it sits, I cut up the strawberries and set them to simmer on low heat with honey.


Changed pans, added pure cacao nibs for crunch.


Whisk up the batter again and start heating the pan with a small amount of butter/oil. I set my electric stove to just below 4 (it goes to 10).


Start making crepes. I use a 1/4 c. measuring cup to pour the batter in the center of the pan, then swirl it around by tilting the pan.


Crispy edges, time to flip the crepe. This usually takes about 1-2 minutes.


Crepe is ready. This takes another minute or so, depending on crepe thickness.

Once the crepe is ready, set it flat on a plate. Pour another 1/4 cup crepe batter into the pan and let cook while spreading Nutella inside the cooked crepe and rolling it up.


Nutella-filled, strawberry sauce-topped crepes.


Delicious!

Evil Bitch-Monster of Death's Crepe Recipe
1/4 c. milk
1/4 c. water
1/2 c. flour
1/8 tsp. salt
1 egg
1 tblsp oil, or melted butter
1-2 tblsp sugar (optional)

Protein modification:
replace 1/4 c. milk with 1/4 c. water (or keep milk and add a couple tblsps water -- this is mostly to dissolve the protein powder)
replace 1/2 c. flour with 1/4 c. flour, 1/2 c. protein powder
-- these tend to be more sticky than regular crepes, so be sure to butter the pan and cook slightly longer.

Mix all ingredients together with a fork or whisk until smooth; let sit 20 mins or so (fold some laundry, do some dishes, make some fruit compote). Heat a little butter or oil in pan on almost-medium heat, pour 1/4 cup at a time in center and rotate pan to spread into flat crepe shape. Cook 1-2 minutes, flip, cook 1-2 minutes more. Makes 4 crepes (double or triple recipe for more crepes).

Evil Bitch-Monster of Death's Fruit compote (can be made while letting crepe batter sit):

take out some cream cheese to soften, 2-3 oz. (optional)
frozen or fresh fruit (1/3 to 1/2 cup is plenty to fill 4 crepes)
honey or granulated sugar (2-3 tblsps, more if you like it really sweet or are using bitter fruit like raspberries)

Boil fruit and sugar/honey on medium heat in a pan, reduce to simmer for about 10 mins, stirring and mushing so nothing sticks to the pan. Pour into bowl, beat in optional cream cheese with fork or something, fridge to chill. (Clean pan, cook crepes).
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Strawberry Pies

Fresh strawberries make delicious treats.

This is a sugar-free white chocolate pie I made with instant Jello pudding mix. Ignore the ratios on the package and use at most 2 cups cold milk to 2 packages Jello pudding mix. I poured it into a shortbread Ready Crust.


Strawberry Lime Cheesecake

Into my standard cheesecake ratios, I stirred blenderized strawberries and lime juice. This made a much less viscous filling that I baked for longer at a lower temperature (and tried not to spill on the way in the oven). About a cup and a half of chopped strawberries went in, and 1/4 cup lime juice. I left out the melted chocolate for this one. It is in a chocolate Ready Crust.


For the glaze on the strawberries, I melted orange marmalade and concord grape jelly in a pan with some honey and let it cool before applying. Next time I plan this, I will either beat chopped mint into the cheesecake batter or stir it into the glaze.


Evil Bitch-Monster of Death's Simple Cheesecake Recipe

The Pie (9")
    2 8-oz. packages cream cheese, softened
      (Neuf works fine, fat free does not)
    2/3 cup sugar
    1 tsp. vanilla or almond extract,
     or 2 tsp. liqueur (optional)
    seasonings (optional), tsps for strong stuff,
     tblsps for pumpkin pie spice, etc.
     -- Beat for about 2 minutes

    add 2 eggs
    add 3 - 4 oz. melted chocolate
    (white chocolate goes with everything)
     -- whisk (or beat a little more on low setting)

Pour in shell* and bake @ 335 for 40 - 50 minutes (for 10" pie, bake @ 325 for 60 - 70 minutes). Let cool -- when you can touch it without burning yourself, cover and set in fridge for 3 - 4 hours. (I have made this on a time constraint and used the freezer to set in ~2 hours. Just don't let it freeze.) *If using a dough shell instead of a crumb shell, bake the empty shell for about five minutes @ 375 to harden it before pouring in the cheesecake batter.

Chocolate topping:
However much melted chocolate you use (3 - 4 oz. is plenty to decorate the top), add 1 tsp shortening (Crisco) per 2 oz. chocolate. You can also melt enough chocolate to make a top layer. This looks great, until you cut the cake with anything other than a samurai sword and the chocolate falls apart.

Fruit topping:
If you use preserves, it mixes well during baking. For fresh fruit, I put it on after the pie cools or blenderize it for mixing in with the pie. Finely chopped fresh fruit can also go in the pie, just stir in carefully after adding the eggs and chocolate.
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Apple Butter

Crisp apples cooked with sugar and spice and everything nice!

Chemical X is a combination of cardamom and ginger =)


Three of the 4.8 lbs of apples that went into this batch of apple butter. Most were red delicious. Some were fuji, others granny smith, others golden.


Chunks of apples in my slow-cooker. I remove the core and stem, but not the skin.


Some containers of apple butter. The top container is what I saved from the first batch of oops-butter. The sprinkler-lid came off my cinnamon as I was shaking some in, which resulted in a very dark, very spiced apple butter. I like it, but those with whom I plan to share the apple butter might find it a bit too spicy. Slow-cooker came back out, more apples went in, and tada! The bottom three containers of a closer-to-normal spice/apple ratio.


The finished product, currently on its way to Canada, Jacksonville, and New Orleans. As you can see in the recipe below, it has preservatives (vinegar and citrus juice) -- it should make it =)

Evil Bitch-Monster of Death's Apple Butter in Slow-Cooker / Blender

Spice mix is estimated and given in ranges. If you don't like a particular spice, leave it out (if you don't like cinnamon, you don't like apple butter -- make apple sauce instead). If you like sweeter apple butter or your apples are really flavorless, add more sugar after the first cooking. If you'll be using a Vitamix or other super-blender, the apples do not need to be cored (but do slice them and take off the stems). If you don't have cider vinegar, leave the vinegar out. Limes can be used in place of lemons (or left out). Fresh and dried ginger have very different flavors, so keep this in mind if you have a preference. Apple skins stay on and get chopped up by the blender.

per 2 lbs sliced, cored apples, use:

3/4 - 1 c. sugar (half or more should be brown or raw sugar, if you have it)
1/2 - 1 tblsp cinnamon, ground (about a rounded 1/2 tblsp)
1/4 - 1/2 tsp cloves, ground
1/4 - 1/2 tsp allspice, ground
1/2 - 1 tblsp grated ginger, fresh (or 1/4 - 1/2 tsp dried)
1/2 tblsp vanilla extract
1/2 - 1 tsp cardamom, ground

1/4 c. apple cider vinegar (optional)
1/2 lemon, sliced or juiced (optional)

Start putting apple pieces into the slow-cooker. After a decent layer of apples, sprinkle/pour spices and other ingredients. If using 4+ lbs of apples, make two or more layers for spice sprinkling. For lemons/limes, if you don't mind digging out skins after cooking, slice/quarter and shove in different places around apples. Otherwise, pour juice over apple layers. Apples may mound over the top, but should stay under the lid. This mound will cook down, and more apples can be added during cooking.

With lid on, cook on high for about an hour (or longer if you need to fit more apples), then turn to low and cook 8 or so hours. Squish and stir the mixture. If apples still seem too firm, cook on low another couple hours.

With lid off, cook on high for 1-2 hours to reduce liquids and make your kitchen smell awesome. Turn slow-cooker off and let sit until apple mixture is cool enough to dig out the lemon/lime skins (sometimes a couple hours).

With a ladle, transfer apple mixture (minus lemon/lime skins) to a blender. This may need to be done in parts -- blend as much as will fit, set aside in another container, blend more. Taste-test the apple butter. If it needs more sugar, stir some in. Once all is blended, return to slow-cooker, stir well, and cook another 4 hours on low with lid on (optional). If you added more sugar during blending, do not skip second cooking.

Cool, store, eat, enjoy!
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Marshmallows

Marshmallows!



After a discussion with my sister-in-law about how commercial marshmallows have deteriorated into disgusting, un-roastable little snowman turds, I looked up a recipe for marshmallows on www.cookingforengineers.com. This is the first batch -- I stirred in some mini chocolate chips before setting them, then dipped them in chocolate once I cut them into squares and tapped the edges in corn starch to prevent sticking. The recipe called for using powdered sugar on the edges, but they were plenty sweet without it.


In the next batch, I stirred chopped maraschino cherries. Can't locate a picture, but I plan to make another batch of those for Lupercalia 2010.

Evil Bitch-Monster of Death's note: I find the marshmallows too sweet with 2/3 c. corn syrup. In the recipes in which I replaced most of it it with something else (chocolate, maraschino cherry liquid), the sweetness came out great. For plain batches, I suggest using only 1/3 - 1/2 c. corn syrup.
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